RC’s Gender Manifesto |
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Here are some personal thoughts on gender. If you are looking for misogynist nonsense, stop reading. Do not expect political correctness though, do not expect everything to make sense to you, do not expect logical consistency, and do not expect every remark to be able to withstand scrutiny. A few may be whimsical. Some are very private and entirely subjective. K2 called it an “ode to women” — she didn’t mean it as a praise, but I’m fine with it. If you want to comment, please send me an email. Not everyone needs to be a feminist. Support equality — equal rights, equal pay, equal opportunities, an equal share of wealth and power — and you will be free of blame. But from a feminist, I expect more. I am a man by birth, not by choice. It is a reality that I’ve never felt to be in my power to alter, but it does not define where my sympathies lie. When a female friend said to me, Women are not better than men, I spontaneously replied, “Actually I think we are.” (No, I didn’t. It was my spontaneous response, but the conversation was by mail, and as a rule I edit my thoughts before I type them, so what I wrote was, Actually I think they are.) I have, of course, encountered women who were stupid, incompetent, thoughtless, selfish, dishonest, malicious, and fraudulent. Still I instinctively feel more comfortable with a female pilot, salesperson, real estate agent, nurse, surgeon, cab driver, computer technician, or anyone else who needs knowledge, skill, commitment, intuition, and empathy for their job. (Yes, I know, this is utterly unfair towards men who can do a great job, and to whom I am grateful for having done so. I just stated whom I feel more comfortable with.) I always feel more comfortable in the company of women than in that of men. I have very little interest in sports, but if I ever watch a soccer game, it is women’s soccer. When women compete with men, I am happy when a woman wins. I prefer watching action films with female protagonists. There is little pleasure for me in watching men. I also prefer reading books with female protagonists, I can identify with them better. [Introduced to the Olympic Games in 1968, until 1992 the skeet competition was mixed gender. In 1992 a woman, Zhang Shan from China, won the gold medal. At the next games, in 1996, women were not allowed to compete. Since 2000, separate competitions are held for women and men. Women defeating men in direct competition, when raw muscle power is not a decisive factor, is not appreciated.] I want to see art by female artists, read books by female authors, listen to female singers. This said, there are many male artists of all genres (literature, poetry, visual arts, music) whose works mean very much to me, and who have deeply impressed and formed me. Even if secretly I sometimes wonder how, as men, they could have created such art. What if a woman feels about men the way I feel about women? She is, of course, entitled to her feelings. It is only men who, to me, are not entitled to their feelings of entitlement that they draw from being male. I unabashedly state that I like to see women naked. It is important to me, and I cannot get enough of it. Women’s faces, women’s bodies — the whole silhouette, every part of her body, arms, hands, legs, feet, and of course her breasts, her nipples and her vulva (shaved, so not to hide its beauty), in every detail. There is nothing more beautiful and rewarding to look at, and only sights like sunsets over the sea or full moons over the mountains come close. And cats, of course. As someone with slightly autistic tendencies I am not good at reading other people’s emotions, but I can clearly see that women’s faces are much more expressive than men’s. If I were a women, I would be a lesbian. I have never understood what attraction a male body, or a male mind, may hold. When I see heterosexual porn, I always ask myself, what are they doing here, why are they doing it? But of course everybody’s sexual desires are what they are, and need to be accepted. Also, as Andrea Long Chu said, “Most desires aren’t desired.” She also said, “Most desire is nonconsensual.” If I were a woman, I’d probably proudly be a prostitute. But also, if I were a woman, I could only be one. But I would want to be many. As a writer I write with a female audience in mind (it can be an audience of one). The great majority of my protagonists, including first person narrators, are female. Everyone who has helped me write, with inspiration, thoughts and ideas, comments, proofreading and editing, has been female. You are welcome to point out to me that women can be child abusers, ruthless murderers, sadistic torturers, cold-blooded or hot-blooded killers, fanatic terrorists, war criminals, accomplices in genocide, anything that a man can be. Yes, this is true. So, I ask, what do we need men for? There are no hard-wired differences between male and female brains, they are built the same. But, they mature in different biological and social environments. Even leaving the social aspects aside (which one can’t), the biological differences, the different possibilities, strengths and weaknesses of male and female bodies, necessarily influence the minds that develop in them — still, of course, these influences are not deterministic, and differences are gradual and statistical. Like men, women can be fascinated with and sexually aroused by violence, including sexual violence. Women are not inherently non-violent and peaceful. Still, men may have a greater affinity to violence because violence can help them to satisfy their sexual desires — for women, in a heterosexual context, finding themselves at the receiving end of violence is what they can more likely expect, and are thus more likely to fantasize about. Unlike for men, for women sexual violence is more easily a threat than a promise. To which degree this contributes to a general attitude towards violence, independent of social factors, is questionable, but the vast majority of gratuitous acts of violence is committed by men. [Violence is a powerful aphrodisiac. When you have a vagina, you can perform sex at will, which can be useful in many contexts. The downside is that you can be forced to have sex against your will. With a penis, there is always the possibility that you may have to suffer the frustration and humiliation of failing. For men, violence as an aphrodisiac is therefore far more important than for women, and as a bonus it accomplishes the control over the desired object. Again, this may explain the stronger general propensity towards violence in men than in women. Sexual violence of women, which is rarer though not necessarily less extreme, is usually directed at children. Most of the pleasure of sexual violence comes from scenes being acted out more or less exactly as they had been envisioned in fantasy. Obviously this is more easily achieved when the perpetrator is physically stronger than their victim.] Ponder this: A widely known creation myth tells how a god, whom they call God, has created the world step by step. First, God created the basics — space and time, darkness and light, heaven and earth. Then God created life — first the plants, then the animals of the air, the water and the land. Then God created man. And finally, God created woman. Obviously each step of this creation process involves an increase in complexity and sophistication. Except for raw physical strength, women are better than men. Statistically, that is, and potentially, when circumstances allow. You do not need to agree, but ponder this: most men openly state or privately feel that men are superior; most women, unless they even agree with that sentiment, insist that women are equal. Reasonability, modesty, unpretentiousness, fairness let them shy away from claiming superiority. Which just proves the point in question, doesn’t it? At the time of the first manned moon flights I heard an interview with a space flight expert (I failed to remember who it was), and the interviewer asked him if he thought that one day there might be female astronauts? That was pure science fiction, at that time we didn’t even have female bus drivers. And he said, from a technical point of view female astronauts would be of advantage, as women are smaller, lighter, more enduring, and more intelligent. Or, as Cato the Elder said more than two millennia ago (though I could not verify the quote), “Remember all the laws by which our forefathers have bound women’s liberties, by which they have subjugated women to men’s power. As soon as they are equal to us, they will be supreme.” Women do the majority of work. Do not believe men when, in words or action, they declare to consider women as nothing more than sex objects. Do not believe the enemy, do not even believe their lies. Of course this is what they want, but it also serves as a distraction — they could live without sexually abusing women far more easily than without exploiting them. Half a century ago, at a sociology course at our University, we were given the task to develop a questionnaire to measure gender prejudices. Questions were of the sort (I don’t remember actual wordings), “How do women perform as car drivers compared to men?”, on a scale of 1 = worse to 10 = equally good. And I said, “this is biased — to be methodologically correct, the scale would have to go from -10 = worse to 0 = equal to +10 = better.” And everyone in the room — male students, female students, and the tutor — looked at me as if I had said, in Klingonian, “All hail to the lizard queen of planet Wega.” Yes, I know, Wega isn’t a planet, it is a star. Maybe that’s why they looked the way they did. After a few seconds of stunned silence, they continued their discussion where it had been so strangely interrupted. This was the moment I realized I wasn’t made for an academic career. Equal rights and equal pay are a matter of course. Or rather, they should be a matter of course. In fact, though, they can hardly be found anywhere. In many parts of the world rights of women are closer to zero than to equal. No parts of the world exist, though, where women are similarly privileged — on an equal rights and equal share scale from 0 to 100, with 50 meaning equality, women are confined to the range of 0 to 45 — for some societies 50 seems within reach, in others it is far removed from any reality. This situation could not, of course, be maintained without structural and manifest violence against women, both at the social level and individually — including rape, including lethal violence, if required, individually as well as on a large scale. In other words, this is not a peaceful competition, this is war. Politely ask for freedom and equality — appeal to reason, appeal to the generosity and sense of justice of those in power — and you will never get it. If I were a woman, if I were a feminist fighter, I would not fight for equality. With “equal,” you let the enemy define your agenda. Equality, an equal share of power, an equal share of wealth ... do you expect them to respect your reasonability and restraint and to honor them with their goodwill? You are falling for their trap. They’ll keep laughing it off. Demand equality, and it will always just stay out of reach, beyond the horizon. Why should women confine themselves to being equal? Why be bound by the “feminine” virtues of modesty, restraint, reasonability, placability and reconciliation? Never doubt your strength. Go for it all, and maybe settle for two thirds as a compromise. Or not. Let them fight for equality, if they must. Let them show if they deserve it. Personally, I doubt it. But I am not a feminist fighter, I am just an observer whom the Lizard Queen of Wega has sent to Earth, and the time keeps drawing nearer when she will call me back to report to her. It is a long journey, and, just in case, I leave my notes here, for my successor to find, and to build on them. |
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(08/2024) |